This article is a transcript of the Thundermans episode "You've Got Fail" from season two, which aired on February 25, 2015.
- [episode begins with Max using Billy and Nora, who is holding a baseball bat and has a baseball aid in front of her, to make an epic fail video in the backyard]
- Max: Are you guys ready to make the best epic fail video ever?
- Nora: We were born ready.
- Billy: [with his nose up] Pig Billy. [with his nose down] boy Billy. [with his nose up again] Pig Billy. [with his nose down again] boy Billy. [with his nose up] Pig Billy. [with his nose down] boy Billy. [with his nose up again] Pig Billy. [with his nose down again] boy Billy.
- Max: Nora, you are the adorable little tee ball player. And Billy, you are the unlucky kid who "accidentally" gets in her way. Hold aaaand... action. [puts the camera rolling]
- Nora: Time to hit one over defense!
- Billy: Swing away. But be careful not to hit me in my "special" area. [gets ready to get hit and Nora almost hits him with the bat only to be unterrupted by Max]
- Max: Whoa! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! Guys, epic fails are supposed to look natural. [Phoebe shows up]
- Phoebe: Oh. You want an epic fail? Just point the camera to your face.
- Max: Ohh. Look who's back from a rehearsal of the buttcracker.
- Billy: The buttcracker? I see that ballet every time Dad bends over.
- Phoebe: It's called The Swan Lake. And I worked really hard to get the lead. And I'm just a few sure of days of my dance debut to become... The Swan. [shakes her arms to the air like a bird]
- Nora: So it's going be 3 hours of that?
- Phoebe: I know. I'm too excited!
- Max: Clear out, bird brain. I've gotta get back to my epic fail video so I can win that Chirper contest.
- Nora: The first video to get one million re-chirps wins $10,000.
- Phoebe: Let me guess. You have some ridiculous over the top plan for the winnings.
- Max: No. I'm gonna buy a tiny island on the South Pacific and also start a small dictatorship called "Maxlandia!" [makes a pose]
- Billy: Wait. What do we get?
- Max: You guys get to be one of the lucky few to be on the internet.
- Nora: I just want to hit something with the bat. [hits Max on the groin and then hits Billy on the groin too causing the boys to fall to the ground in pain. Phoebe laughs silently of her brothers suffering]
- Max: [in pain] Camera wasn't rolling.
- Nora: I know. [walks away]
- [theme song]
- [scene changes to Max, Billy and Nora entering the living room through the back door. Max sees the result of his video]
- Max: These epic fails are epic... fakes? Wha- How dare they call my stage video fake? [to Billy and Nora] You guys must fail better.
- Billy: [looking at the stairs] Fail better as we skateboard down the stairs backwards. Got it.
- Nora: Yeah. I'm not doing that. [Phoebe is making a video to sell tickets to her ballet and she is wearing her ballet tutu]
- Phoebe: [to the camera] Hiddeville High presents Swan Lake this saturday. Get your tickets now and see me become... The Swan. [starts dancing]
- Max: Get out of the living room, flappy feet. [ends Phoebe's video]
- Phoebe: No way. I'm making this video to post on Chirper so we can boost tickets sale fpr the ballet . We've only sold 5 so far. [[Barb Thunderman|Barb]] enters with 5 tickets for Phoebe's ballet and she is happy]
- Barb: I bought my 5 tickets, sweetie. [screams to herself] I'm so proud of you. [walks away]
- Phoebe: Thanks Mom. [to Max] Beat it loser. [puts the camera rolling again]
- Max: Okay guys. We are still making our video just ignore Phoebe and remember, this epic fail has to look real.
- Billy: Got it. Let's rock this. [lets his skateboard loose and it rolls next to Phoebe who steps on it, loses balance, bumps into the TV and falls into the ground with TV on top of her. Billy and Nora laugh]
- Nora: See Max? That's the kind of video you should be making.
- Max: Great idea Nora. You're fired. [Nora and Billy walk away] Phoebe, are you okay? Uh, let me, uh, use your phone to call the paramedics. [Phoebe quickly realizes what Max is up to and uses telekinesis to get her phone]
- Phoebe: Nice try Max. You're not posting this video of me falling. I worked tutu hard. Ha, ha, ha! Tutu. [Max doesn't laugh] Ballet humor, you wouldn't get it. [grabs the laptop] Now I'll just go post the good parts to Chirper and then ballet down for a nap. [realizes that her jokes are lame] Okay I'm done with ballet humor now. [walks away to post the good parts of her video]
- Max: I'll get that phone. FOR MAXLANDIA!! [scene changes to the backyard to show Billy and Nora playing with their frisbee while Hank is sit in a chair reading a magazine. Barb joins them]
- Barb: Hank, I'm going to run herans. Let the gardener in.
- Hank: [not paying attention] Thaaat's great sweetheart, wait. Gardeners cost money.
- Barb: [pointing to the bushes] I found poison ivy in the backyard, he's removing it. [to Billy and Nora] So you kids stay out of the backyard, there's poison ivy over there.
- Billy and Nora: [not paying attention] That's great, Mom. [Barb reacts shocked]
- Barb: You know what it would be great if you guys wouldn't sight until I got back.
- Hank: Oh, don't be silly, I'm right here, I can watch them.
- Barb: I know but if they get poison ivy, they'll be miserable and miss the ballet.
- Hank: Oh, I get it, if your kids are in a bus hanging from the bridge, call Thunder Man. Oh but there's a scary bush in the backyard, everybody in the house!
- Barb: I'm sorry honey. I totally trust you. See you guys later. [leaves and Hank goes back to reading his magazine]
- Billy: Okay, Nora. Watch me sting the shot. [throws his frisbee into the bushes with poison ivy]
- Nora: This is why we get picked up in gym. [Billy nods in agreement]
- Billy: I'll get it.
- Nora: Wait! I think that's where Mom just said the poison ivy was.
- Billy: Mom was out here?
- Nora: [after trying remebering something] Somebody was yelling at us. Maybe we should ask Dad if we can get it.
- Billy: Hey Dad, can we get our disc back?
- Hank: [paying more attention to his magazine] Is it on the roof?
- Billy and Nora: Noo.
- Hank: [paying more attention to his magazine] Then go ahead. [Billy super-speeds to the bushes and gets the frisbee back]
- Billy: Got it. And no poison ivy. Up-top. [he and Nora do an "up-top" and go back to playing with their frisbees. However, the camera zooms in on Billy's armpit, revealing poison ivy leaves and Billy didn't notice that. Scene changes to the living room to show Phoebe taking a nap on the couch and Max is behind her, he uses telekinesis to get Phoebe's phone but Phoebe's grip is strong. Max tries a few more times but Phoebe's grip is just too strong, he sighs in annoyance]
- Max: Teen girl, cellphone, dead grip! [sneaks behind her, he tries to take the phone but Phoebe, still sleeping, hits her arm in the table and slowly he switches Phoebe's phone by a sandwich in the coffee table] Time for the Epic Faillerina to buy me my island. Uploading Phoebe's fall to my Chirper page. [does so] Rubbing Phoebe's phone in my armpit. [does so and appreciates it. Slowly switches Phoebe's phone for the sandwich and takes it] And now I'm making my clean getaway. [chomps the sandwich but sauce is sprayed in his shirt] Clean-ish. [he starts licking the sauce from his shirt as he slowly escapes. Scene changes to next day to show Billy taking his breakfast and Nora throws a pillow at him in anger]
- Billy: [faking pain] Ow.
- Nora: Hey genious. Somebody game me poison ivy. [shows Billy her arm with a rash from poison ivy]
- Billy: Ew. Who did that?
- Nora: Look at the mirror. [Billy gasps]
- Billy: [scared] Is he behind me?
- Nora: No. It's you! Don't you have a rash too?
- Billy: Only this tiny red mark on my arm. [shows her the mark in his arm and screams after realizing it's growing] It's growing. [he and Nora start scratching their rashes]
- Nora: It only grows when you scratch it.
- Billy: Then we should stop scratch it.
- Nora: But it feels so good! [Billy nods in agreement and Hank enters the kitchen]
- Hank: What is happening in here? [notices the rashes] Oh, no. You've got poison ivy? Please don't tell me this happened on my watch.
- Billy: It didn't. [Hank sighs in relief] It happened when you were ignoring us on your watch.
- Hank: You cannot tell your mom, she'll never let me hear the end of it. But don't worry, I'll find the cure. [Nora hugs him] Oh, what's this for?
- Nora: Just giving you poison ivy to make sure you want this cure as much as we do.
- Hank: Nice try Nora. [pushes Nora away from him gently] I flew into the sun once. Do you think Thunder Man can get poison ivy? [A little later, Hank got the poison ivy as well thanks to Nora, screams and heads to the kitchen scratching his arms] It's like a thousand fire ants are eating my skin! [shows his rashes and scratches them as Billy and Nora do the same to their own rashes. Scene changes to Hiddenville High school to show everyone watching Phoebe's epic fail video online as Phoebe and Max walk in]
- Gideon: Phoebe. I saw your video on Chirper. Quiet-up performance.
- Phoebe: Oh, oh. Thanks. [to Max] It looks like my post is ahead. [shrugs]
- Max: Yeah, a real smash. Hopefully a million of people will see it.
- Phoebe: You've better get your tickets to my show tomorrow night, Gideon.
- Gideon: Sure in. I can't wait to see "break a leg".
- Phoebe: Thanks but break a leg for fitter fokes. To a dancer is kind of creepy, specially when you make that face. [Gideon makes his smilly face to Phoebe and walks away]
- Max: Your first fan. It looks like you became a star before you made your big debut. You're welcome.
- Phoebe: I'm not a star, Max. I'm just Phoebe, the same humble sister you've always known. Now if you excuse me, my fans are waiting. [throws her bag to Max and starts dancing as the students take out their phones and hope Phoebe would fall]
- Gideon: That's it. Fall for Gideon. [Phoebe ends dancing and doesn't fall]
- Students: [disappointed] Ohhh.
- Phoebe: Don't worry. I'll get the full show on saturday. [Max gives her bag back, she goes to the ballet room and finds Mdame Gigi] Congratulations Madame Gigi.
- Madame Gigi: Bonjour Phoebe. [Phoebe kisses her in the cheeks and when she wants to give her another smooch, Madame Gigi stops her] Okay, too much touching.
- Phoebe: Sorry. I'm so excited. It's our last rehearsal before the big show.
- Madame Gigi: Yes, this show is sold out, the girls say it's because of your video.
- Phoebe: Sold out? That's so awesome. They'll be sitting in the mobby when I become...The Swan. [starts dancing but Madame Gigi interrupts her]
- Madame Gigi: No, no, Phoebe. Mathilda will become The Swan. [Mathilda is the girl holding the red tablet] You'll stay home.
- Phoebe: I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? Your accent meant it sound like [as Madame Gigi] I'm staying home.
- Madame Gigi: Wee. You'll ruin my show. As you're the one who falls and breaks things, you know? [claps hands and Mathilda hands her the red tablet] As The Epic Faillerina?
- Phoebe: Epic Faillerina? [sees the video where she loses balance, falls and makes the TV fall on the top of her] Yeah, that's me but I didn't fall. Well, I did fall but how did it even... [realizes who posted the video] Max!! [grabs her bag and leaves the ballet show to confront her brother. Max is on the lockers and Phoebe pushes a guy away to talk to her brother]
- Max: There's the swan princess. [Phoebe closes a locker in anger] Well, aren't you the angry bird?
- Phoebe: The Epic Faillerina? You turned me into The Epic Faillerina.
- Max: I turned you into a Chirper sensation and helped you sold out your stupid ballet show.
- Phoebe: Oh. You mean the ballet show I was kicked out of because you turned me into THE EPIC FAILLERINA?! [Gideon approaches her]
- Gideon: [to a boy] It's cool, she knows me. We're pratically dating. [to Phoebe] Phoebe, could you take the truth on my... [Phoebe growls at him] My boo says now it's not a good time. [walks away]
- Max: So, that's exciting. You and Gideon.
- Phoebe: Max. This is my first lead in t5he ballet. I've destroyed my toes for this moment.
- Max: To be fair. You always had untily toes.
- Phoebe: And you're not gonna have any toes if you don't take down that video.
- Max: No way, I'm this close to win that contest and buy my island. I'll tell you what. You can prens around in your chicken suit in the great opening in Maxlandia. [starts walking away]
- Phoebe: This isn't over Max. One way or another, I'll get you back, right after I get my lead back. And I'm gonna show all of you I'm not The Epic Faill- [trips in a bench] Whoa! [lands in the ground and gets up] Starting now. [bumps into a girl and knocks down the her books] Okay, now! [leaves the school. Scene changes back to the Thundermans' house to show Hank, Billy and Nora still scratching their rashes from poison ivy and Hank is trying to find the cure through his tablet]
- Nora: Dad. Did you find the cure?
- Hank: Not yet. But I promise, I'll click on every link, I'll search every page and I'll not rest until... [gets distracted by something else] Whoo-oo. Pictures of celebrities without makeup.
- Nora: Dad! Focus! Our poison ivy is getting worse.
- Billy: I hope for your sake that Mom doesn't come home soon. [alarm beeps]
- Voice: Alert, alert. Mom is approaching.
- Hank: Oh no. [turns down the Thunder Monitor] Hide your arms. Do not let her see you scratching. [he, Billy and Nora hide the arms as Barb enters]
- Barb: Oh. I've found the cutest outfit to wear to the ballet show tonight. [turns to the wall and Hank, Billy and Nora start scratching while Barb is not seeing]
- Hank: Oh. That's great honey. [Barb turns to them and Hank, Billy and Nora have their arms hidden again]
- Barb: Yeah. I'm just gonnqa go upstairs and find some shoes to match. [starts heading upstairs and Hank, Billy and Nora start scratching again but they hide their arms once again when Barb turns to them again] OH! We're gonna have so much fun tonight! [heads upstairs and Hank, Billy and Nora start scratching their rashes again]
- Nora: Dad. I can't live like this. You have to find that cure. [it looks like Hank find the cure on his tablet]
- Hank: Ooh. There's something. There's a rare plant in the Amazon that the locals say it cures poison ivy. Check it out. [shows to Billy and Nora what he found]
- Billy: Do you think it will work?
- Hank: Only one way to find out. Race to there, Billy. [Billy super-speeds to get the plant before Hank] Thunder Man, away! [Billy returns with the Amazon plant before Hank could fly out of the house]
- Billy: Got it.
- Hank: I've gotta get a shorter catchphrase. [he, Nora and Billy get a piece of the Amazon plant and put it above their rashes. They inbreathe and sigh in relief. Scene changes to show Max in his bedroom with Dr. Colosso, both of them are wearing a party hat]
- Max: Dr. Colosso, my Epic Faillerina video should be closing on the million re-chirps. Right after celebrating with some cake. [shows a cake with island decorations that says "MAXLANDIA"]
- Dr. Colosso: I can't believe we're going to get our own country.
- Max: We? It's "Maxlandia", not "Max-and-his-Bunny landia"
- Dr. Colosso: Tell that to the flag. [pushes a tiny red button] Ta-da! [in the wall, a flag with a black streak with white stars and a red streak with black stars appears. The flag has the image of Max holding Dr. Colosso and it says "Max-and-his-Bunny landia"]
- Max: We're not using that!
- Dr. Colosso: [disappointed] Oh.
- Max: Alright. Here we go. [goes on checking the video but then it shows an error saying "Video has been deleted from Chirper"] What's going on? Where's my video?
- Phoebe: [from behind Max] Deleted.
- Max: AHH! [falls on the ground after being scared by Phoebe and gets up]
- Phoebe: A few hours ago, I came down here to rub some of your stuff under my armpit. [pause] Instead, I found your computer was open and [chuckling] you were still logged in.
- Max: What? That's impossible. I never forget to log out. Unless someone else forgot to log out. [both he and Phoebe look at Dr. Colosso]
- Dr. Colosso: Ooh. Sorry, I had some important work to do this morning. [flashback of Dr. Colosso to this day's morning making exercise by watching a video through Max's computer] Yeaah.
- Exercise Tutor: So fun, ladies. Oh! You've gotta burning, burning. Woo. Come on!
- Dr. Colosso: Oh yeah.
- Exercise Tutor: Let's go, pals.
- Exercise Tutor and Dr. Colosso: Eeeee-o! [cut back to present]
- Dr. Colosso: I crush a carrot with these bunny buns. [starts moving his butt] Do you wanna see me earn it?
- Max: NO! [Dr. Colosso sighs and Max takes off his party hat] Phoebe. I can't believe you did this.
- Phoebe: Pfft! Well, it wasn't all me. You are kind of sent that e-mail to Madame Gigi confessing you faked the video.
- Max: I didn't sent any-- [gasps in shock realizing what Phoebe did] You hacked into my e-mail?! [Phoebe fakes gasping in shock and smiles in victory] You'll not be not prenc to the great opening in Maxlandia.
- Phoebe: Oh. I'll be prencing tonight. That's right, Madame Gigi gave me the lead back. I'm turning into a swan. [leaves the lair dancing. Scene changes to Hiddenville High to show Phoebe and the other girls performing. Barb, Hank, Billy and Nora are appreciating the show while Max is disappointed]
- Barb: [to Max] Phoebe looks so graceful and elegant. Don't you think?
- Max: I'm going to the toilet. [gets up to do so but instead goes to see Gideon] Hey Gideon. Take my phone and record everything that happens on stage, okay? I've got a contest to win and I'm not sharing.
- Gideon: That's cool. As long as I can get your sister's phone number office.
- Max: Just promise to call her everyday. [Gideon starts recording what's happening on stage and Max goes to the corner] Here we go. Epic Faillerina is about to ruin his swan lake. [uses telekinesis to move a duck sculpture but Phoebe, unaware of it, jumps above it. She then notices the sculpture moving and keeps performing, Max then uses telekinesis to lift a vase and then throws it to Phoebe but Phoebe dodges it as well. Then he tries with another vase but Phoebe once again dodges the vase. Phoebe realizes that Max is trying to make her fall and ruin her show and angrily glares at him] Don't glare at me, feather freak. [Phoebe keeps dancing and Max uses telekinesis and makes a tree card image to fall but it doesn't hit Phoebe. She then keeps dancing and Max then uses telekinesis and makes another tree card image to fall but Phoebe dodges it too. She jumps above it and uses telekinesis to throw a woman's purse to him. The woman gets up, gets her purse back and hits Max with it] Oh. You just hit the emperor of Maxlandia. [the woman hits him again with her purse] You just hit me again! [the woman prepares to hit him again but Max flees out of scene. Phoebe ends performing and everyone applauds. Phoebe and the other ballerinas move to the changing room]
- Madame Gigi. Oh. Beautiful dance, Phoebe. Now, your Black Swan costume is in your officer. You change while I go sell to all the prized freshmans.
- Phoebe: Thank you, Madame Gigi. [gives her teacher a smooch on both cheeks and prepares to give another one like she did earlier but Madame Gigi stops her]
- Madame Gigi: Okay. Too much touching. [leaves and Phoebe walks to get her black swan costume but Max appears, which scares her a little]
- Phoebe: Get out of here, Max. Stop trying to make me fail. It's not gonna work.
- Max: I know. You're too good out there. Whicih is why I'm shuting you in here. [pushes Phoebe to the closet]
- Phoebe: Wh- Whoa! Max! [Max locks her inside the closet and Phoebe starts knocking at the door] Max! What are you doing? [Max grabs Phoebe's Black Swan costume]
- Max: Time for this swan to lay an egg. [leaves with the Black Swan costume and walks to stage and Phoebe, still inside the closet, starts knocking at the door for help. The second part of the performance starts and Max appears dressed as the Black Swan]
- Barb: Wow. That costume sure makes Phoebe look musculy. [Max starts making the other ballerinas to trip and fall] It's not Phoebe, I think it's Max.
- Gideon: Go ahead, girlfriend. [Max continues to dance akwardly and falls to the floor] Yeah. That's the stuff. [Barb notices something on Hank's neck]
- Barb: Oh!
- Hank: What? What's wrong?
- Barb: What is that on your neck? [Hank grabs what is on his neck and realizes it's a leech]
- Hank: Oh! That's a leech. [to Billy and Nora quietly] It must be from the Amzon plant. [he rips the end of his jeans apart, revealing Amazon plant pieces inside, he takes off the pieces of the plant and more leeches are seen. Hank is disgusted] Ahhh! [Barb is shocked and Nora pushes the sleeve of her sweater and sees that she also has leeches]
- Nora: AHH! Blood suckers! [Billy pulls his shirt up only to realize he also has leeches. He faints and Hank grabs him]
- Barb: Hank, what is happening?!